


I'm Only Gonna Break Your Heart

by Elle0555



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle0555/pseuds/Elle0555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron and Robert from the start (my way).<br/>Aaron's along for the ride but will Robert break his heart and what happens if he does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Something i started during this drought we're having.  
> Parts of the storyline with my own take on it.  
> Find me on Tumblr: missme033.tumblr.com

AARON

Not long ago i raiding the White's estate and scared a woman half to death. I feel like crap for doing it. I meant to be staying out of trouble and keeping my head down. But trouble seems to find me wherever i go these days, I'm still on probation and one stunt like this could see me locked up for years. How stupid can i be? It was Ross's fault for getting me involved in the first place. If Robert would never of caught us then i wouldn't of put myself in this situation. As much as i wanna blame Ross for dragging me into his dodgy dealings I'm partly to blame as well. Sometimes i wish i never came back here after all. The only thing that's keeping me in the village is my mum and Paddy. Adams even behind bars now and I've got no one to talk to. I cant wait till hes released and i get my best mate back its been hell without him here. And i need him to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Ever since i met Robert he's been nothing but a pain in the arse. And he's so arrogant it makes my skin crawl. He keeps finding me in the village and scowling in my direction. I'm getting pretty sick of his attitude towards me. I just wanna deck him. I know he's one of my best friends brother but still i cant stand him. I still don't understand why he'd go to such extreme lengths as staging a robbery in his own house. He must be as messed up as me if not a little more.

I'm working a double shift at the garage for Debs. When i was in France i had some great jobs. And i got to see a tiny piece of the world. But this job has always been my favorite. I don't know if its because its a family owned business or because it was my first real job but either way I've missed it. When i look up from what i was working on i see Robert standing there watching me. Its starting to get a little weird now. Why does he think hes got the right to keep annoying me like this. I done what he asked for now i shouldn't have to see him again.

"Seriously mate what is your problem? I'm getting sick of your face everywhere i turn." I wipe my oil stained hands on my overalls as i walk closer to him. He doesn't back away if anything i see something in his eyes as he puffs he chest out in all its glory. And its doing things to my crotch. I cant seriously find him attractive can i?

"I just wanted to come by and thank you for the bruise on my cheek. I'll give you something you know how to throw a punch Aaron. But it wont be happening again." He really doesn't know anything. But when i'm looking at his face i'm struggling to keep myself gazing further down. I find him hot and that thought annoys the hell out of me.

"No matter what you say If you don't leave me alone Robert your have a matching one. And this time i wont go easy." I cant help but admire how good he looks in that leather jacket. I feel my face growing hot. I need to control myself before he catches on. Not that he would he has no idea i'm gay. Its none of his business anyway.

"Are all you Dingles the same? Talk with your fists? i wont give you the chance to hit me again Aaron. So don't even think about it." Insulting my family is taking it a step to far. I don't know who he thinks he is but i'm not having it any longer. "You wanna say that again mate?" I walk closer to him so we're inches apart, I really wanna hit him now the only thing that's stopping me is knowing he would call the police this time. And i'm not going back inside because of someone like him got to me i wont give him the satisfaction.

"Look. Ok i'm sorry Aaron. Can we just start again. I really don't need another enemy in this village." He steps away holding his hands up like he's surrendering. God he's so dramatic as well as arrogant. How i'm finding him increasingly attractive i don't know. He's not my usual type not that I've really got one. But Robert Sugden. He cant be my type. For starters he's getting married and he's not into guys. Well he wasn't when he left anyways.

"Stay away from me mate and we wont have any problems." I walk back to the car i was working on before i so rudely got interrupted. I've got my back to him hoping he will leave and let me get on with it but i can feel his eyes burning into me. I'm tensing up and i just wanna shove him against this car and not because i wanna deck him.

"I wanna try and get on with you Aaron." He wants to get on with me. When all i can think about is him being on top of me. I need to get my mind out of the gutter. The more i look at him the harder its becoming to concentrate. I cant believe this is happening to me. I cant just find a nice normal guy to be attracted too. Oh no i have to find the most stuck up idiot there is.

"Robert i'm busy. just go will ya. I'll think about it mate." When i do finally turn around again he's gone and i sigh in relief. I wouldn't mind being his mate if he wasn't so god damn good looking. I'd end up kissing him or more. And i cant do that he;s getting married to a woman. I need to repeat that to myself otherwise i wont stop thinking about what he looks like naked. What his lips feel like against mine or how good his hands are. I need to get laid and fast maybe that'll stop these sudden feelings.

When i lock up that night the sun is disappearing and there's a light breeze. I feel exhausted and my mind is thinking about someone in particular. I've thought about him for most of the day as hard as I've tried to block him out its impossible. Why am i thinking like this i hardly know the guy. Knowing my luck he's in the pub and i'll have to acknowledge him otherwise he might start thinking somethings up and i cant have that. I don't want him thinking about me at all.

As i walk through the pub doors i do a quick scan of the room and surprise surprise he's sitting in the corner with his fiancee. She could do better than him and i think he knows that. I go to order a pint and sit at the bar as my mum pours it. I can see him peering over at me and i cant help but smile back at him. If i didn't know any better i'd think he was flirting with me. Something feels strange between us and i cant put my finger on it. Like there's some kind of connection. I take a gulp of my pint and return my focus to the front. I feel flushed and nervous. Why is he having this effect on me? I'm the one who's staring now and he's picking up on it because as i look away i see him stride towards me from the corner of my eye. I go to stand up and quickly walk behind the bar into the back room but he stops me by grabbing my arm and for a second i swear i could feel the sparks igniting between us. I cant of been the only one to feel that surely?

"Why do you keep staring Aaron. Find something you like?" There's that arrogance again but it doesn't get to me as much as it should.

"I think your find you was staring at me mate. Now back off will ya." I need to get out of here my body feels like its on fire and i want him to be the one to put out the flames.

"You were eyeing my fiancee up. It doesn't bother me Aaron. But a bit of subtly wouldn't go a miss." He definitely doesn't know i'm gay and i'm in two minds whether to correct him. I wanna see his face though so i decide i will tell him.

"I wasn't eyeing your fiancee up mate. She's really not my type. for starters she's the wrong sex. If you know what i mean." I turn to walk away and he's standing there looking shocked at my words. Now i'm intrigued as to what will happen next. i know this is just the start of something interesting and i'm along for the fun of it, After all i am single. i just wonder what his game is?

TBC???


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

ROBERT  
I'm sitting here in the corner staring into my pint trying to feign interest in what Chrissie is saying to me. I'm still in utter shock that Aaron is gay. I thought he had a girlfriend that'll teach me never to judge a book by its cover. I'm confused at myself for feeling like this. He's just the local mechanic who nicked my car and staged a break in at my house. Why am i suddenly so interested now i know he's into guys? Nothing can happen between us obviously. I've got a beautiful fiancee and a dream life with everything i always wanted. Yeah my future step son may be a bit creepy And Lawrence is a total nightmare but after all you cant have it all. I'm shaken from my thoughts by Chrissie nudging my shoulder. I need to focus on her and not the Dirty little grease monkey that i cant help but find mesmerizing.

"Robert what is wrong with you tonight? You’re in a world of your own. Its pretty unsociable." I look at her and hold in a sigh i so desperately wanna let out. I cant help it if my mind is occupied on other things. Well only one thing. "I'm sorry Chrissie i think i'm coming down with something i might get some air and go for a walk." I don't wait for her protests as i grab my coat and quickly kiss her on the cheek before exiting the pub and into the cool of the night air.

When i'm sitting on a bench outside the pub i take in some deep breathes and try to clear my mind of all the thoughts that keep popping up. I hardly know the guy and he's moody and annoying. So why am i thinking about him in a way i really shouldn't be? Maybe it's just pre-wedding nerves or something. I cant deny he is good looking though the perfect amount of stubble and his hair is styled lightly with gel. Just the way i like it. I wonder whats under those overalls. if his arms are anything to go by i bet his body is amazing. He's also gotta be good with his hands it is his job. What is wrong with me? I need a distraction. No i know what i need. I have to face him again and see if these weird feelings are all in my head or if this is really something i need to be worried about.

I know where to find him. He's gotta be in the back of the pub and i know he's alone because Chas and Diane are behind the bar. I'll go knock on the back door and see if he answers. But what do i say to him if he does? I cant think about that right now i'll wing it if i have too. I just need to see him.

When i get there i stand outside staring at the closed door. Not sure whether this is a good idea or not. Am I letting myself in for something that I could possibly end up regretting? What if it's not all in my head and I can't control it? I'm being stupid I don't have any kind of attraction to Aaron and I'm gonna prove it to myself by knocking on the door and putting this ridiculous thought up mess to bed.

When he answers and I look at his face I see his blue eyes staring at me. He's got the most amazing eyes I've ever seen I could lose myself in them. But I'm still convinced there's nothing between us. So I push my way past him and enter the back room. He's looking at me in confusion. 

“So you think you can just barge in here without me even inviting you in Robert? You really are something else you know that?” I'm not really listening to him I'm only paying attention to his lips. 

“My step mum lives here you know Aaron I can do what I want.” I know what I want and so does my bulge that's growing in my jeans. I wanna push him with force against the nearest wall and kiss all over his body while leaving my mark on him. 

“She's In the bar Robert, but then you already knew that because you were there too. So what is it you really want? Stop messing me about.” I go to sit down on the sofa and he follows behind me. But instead he takes a seat at the kitchen table eyes glaring at me waiting for my response. 

“I just wanted to make sure we're ok after everything that's happened today.” I silently curse myself knowing I could of made something better than that up. I'm usually good when put on the spot. Why is Aaron any exception? 

“Robert just drop it will Ya. We're never gonna be the best of mates so if that's it I've got somewhere to be.” I let out a laugh and stand up walking towards him. He gulps pretty hard and he's face is now slightly flushed. I edge as close as i can so our faces are only inches apart. Eye contact never faltering. 

"What's wrong Aaron you look nervous? Do i make you nervous?" He's biting his lower lip which i find a complete turn on and i cant help myself anymore. As i go to touch his arms the electricity between us is undeniable. I know i should stop what i'm about to do and walk out of here fidelity in tact but he's pulling me in and i keep getting deeper. Our eyes once again meet and i know i'm in serious trouble now but that doesn't stop my next move. It only makes me want it even more. 

I attack his mouth with mine and i lose it completely. I've lost control of everything around me now only focusing on the man whose lips i'm attached too. I stop thinking and lean further into the kiss pulling at his jacket and forcing my tongue into his mouth. I hear him moan as he pushes me backwards and onto the sofa. That's when reality kicks back in and i'm moving away so fast i nearly lose my footing. I rush out of there as i hear him calling my name. 

When i'm back outside i lean against the wall and try to catch my breathe. I cant believe I've just done that. Whats worrying me now is i don't have one single regret about kissing Aaron. Chrissie doesn't even enter my mind as i'm replaying the kiss over and over in my head. I've never experienced a kiss like that. Where everything stops in the world. But what your doing in that moment. When we touched i couldn't of been the only one to feel the sparks between us. It has to be a one off though i need to forget Aaron now. My head is messed up. The only thought spinning around is what would of happened if i never stopped? 

TBC??? "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love :)


	3. Chapter 3

AARON

It's the next day and I've thankfully got the day off. Because if i was working i wouldn't of got much done anyway. All night i was tossing and turning barely able to sleep and all thanks to one arrogant so and so. Why did he kiss me? And why the hell did i like it so much? I was up for a harmless bit of flirting to get me through the day a little fun, But not this. He took it a step too far and i let him do it. I had no idea he was into guys though. Is he in denial about his sexuality? It really doesn't matter to me i'm not gonna let it happen again. I should of stopped the kiss as soon as it started, But i got distracted by his incredibly soft lips pressed against mine. His hands on either side of my face as he leaned in to kiss me. I'm weak when he even comes near me. I still cant believe it. Robert Sugden though.

He better keep his distance from me. I cant be a home wrecker i'm not that guy. But the temptation is so strong its like a magnetic force pushing me towards him. Maybe i should just go out with Finn again, But he's so mellow at times and i'm nothing like that. I like danger and excitement. And as much as i try to deny it Robert is both of those things. I hope he stays away from me now. What kind of man cheats on their fiancee just before he's due to walk down the isle? That poor woman deserves more than a confused yet undeniably amazing looking guy. I seriously need to get a life.

As i'm walking through the village later that day in a world of my own and not looking where i'm going. I bump into someones chest and stumble backwards nearly falling to the ground until they grab my hand at the last second. Before i even have a chance to look up i know who it is. That feeling coursing through me tells me who it is, and i just wanna moan and rant at him. He keeps mysteriously turning up wherever i go. It cant be a coincidence anymore surely? I can only think off one explanation. He's following me around and waiting to pounce. What is with this guy? He's got the perfect life at home farm. Money like it grows on trees and the dream lifestyle, So What does he want with the local mechanic? 

When i finally look up and acknowledge his presence he's smiling at me. That gorgeous smile and his lips look so inviting. He's still got hold of my arm and i can feel the tension between us rising. I pull out of his embrace and try to walk away without uttering a word but my plan fails as he stops me and opens his mouth to talk. 

"Someone's in a rush. You should look where you're going Aaron. You might not be so lucky next time." It amazes me at the shear smugness he has. And he never breaks eye contact. I feel intimidated by him and i don't want this to become awkward. 

"No mate you should look where you're going. You walked in to me." Why is he acting like nothing happened last night? He initiated it. I don't know whether to bring it up or just act the same as him and pretend it never happened. Why should i feel bad about it though. I'm not cheating on anyone. 

"Meet me at the barn in an hour Aaron. I wanna talk to you in private." He's telling me what to do now. Why is he so infuriating. I know i'm gonna meet him though so whats the point in me protesting. I'm just worried about being in a confined space with him alone and away from prying eyes. Anything could happen. 

"Do you get off on telling people what to do Robert? Why do you wanna meet in private anyway?" He's doing this thing with his jaw. And it's turning me on. It's like he fell from heaven he's so gorgeous.

"Your find out if you meet me won't you Aaron. Don't be late." He's so fucking cocky. I just wanna wipe that smirk from his face. As he walks away though i find myself watching him. Self centered or not he's a peculiar one. And i cant help but want to work him out.

An hour or so later i find myself in the barn sitting on a hay bale waiting for Robert. I'm questioning myself and wondering what he has to say to me. And the seriousness it must have. Because he could of told me earlier. If he thinks i'm gonna blab to his wife then he's got me all wrong. I'm no grass and ill make sure he knows that. I stand up and pace around the dark and damp barn. It's derelict and dingy with a light hint of musk in the air. It's getting dark outside and the light in here is fading fast. Only beams of light struggling to peak through the cracks in the walls. 

25 minutes late he finally decides to show his face. Closing the door behind him and turning round to make sure its secure. As if anyone would ever think to look here for us. No one even thinks we're friends. He's a little nervous i can tell simply from his body language. I cant stand the silence anymore so i decide to make the first move. 

"What did you wanna talk about Robert? Whats so important that it had to be done in private?" He walks slowly towards me and stills on the spot. Looking in my eyes for the first time since he got here. He looks completely out of his comfort zone like a scared little boy. This is not the Robert i saw earlier or even yesterday. Is this the real version of him or is it just a facade? I'm so confused.

"About yesterday. What happened Aaron. I don't know where it came from." How can he be so nervous yet so calm at the same time. "I never planned it Aaron it just happened."

"Why did you do it Robert? you're getting married, To a woman, and you're kissing random guys." I take a step back and turn around trying to understand what is going on with him." 

"It's not like that Aaron. I've never cheated on Chrissie. It was only a kiss. Stop making it a bigger deal then it needs to be. I see the walls go up around him and he's back to defensive mode. It's like he's got a split personality. "I've been with other guys. And Chrissie doesn't need to know about that. So don't even think about telling her Aaron. Your'e be making a huge mistake if you do." 

"Threatening me are ya Robert. I don't respond to threats. I'm not gonna ruin you're shambles of a relationship if that's what you can even call it. That'll happen all on its own." Now i'm going Robert." I walk towards the barn doors eager to escape him. But he again pulls me back and spins me around. Before i know it he's pushing me down onto a hay bale hands all over each other and ripping at my cloths. I couldn't stop now if i wanted too. He's got me right where he wants me and i might as well sit back and enjoy the ride that is Robert Sugden.

TBC???


	4. Chapter 4

ROBERT

When i told him to meet me at the barn earlier today i never for one second intended for this to happen. For me to give in to temptation again. I only wanted to talk to him and make sure he wasn't gonna say anything to Chrissie. But as soon as i walked through the door things changed. I found myself once again drawn to him. He's so different to anyone I've ever met. As much as i try i'm failing to resist him. Putting up a fight is pointless when i'm so attracted to Aaron. The danger is enticing me, calling my name and pulling me in, i know by simply one look at him i'm gonna give in and do what has been on my mind since the minute i saw him.

I made my move and pushed him down onto a hay bale the second he tried to leave. The feelings i'm experiencing right now are ones i cant deal with. We're kissing and i'm ripping at his cloths. I can hardly see him or anything else it's to dark to fully appreciate Aaron's body. It's not stopping me though, At this point i don't think anything could, Chrissie could walk in and i'd struggle to loosen my grip on the man below me. I can hear his moans of pleasure echo around the abandoned barn and feel his erection pressed against my thigh, which only makes me quicken my pace and remove my jacket before immediately returning to what I was doing. My breathing has become erratic. I cant get enough of him. I'm biting and leaving a trail of wet kisses down his neck as i feel his hands tighten around my back. He reaches down for my crouch and slides his hand inside my jeans as he slowly beings stroking at my erection. And i can feel everything around me fading as i tuck my head into his neck and revel in the sensation. Losing all grip on reality all the while knowing things have definitely changed. 

An hour later and we're both layed out on the floor in the barn still trying to catch our breathe after the most intense and amazing sex I've ever had in my life. I now know how good he is with his hands. But its Aaron's mouth that surprised me the most. The man knows what he's doing and how to please someone. The biting and sucking along with his incredible tongue made me unravel. It's weird that i don't in the slightest bit feel guilty about what i've just done. I know i'm going to hell but right now i feel like i'm on cloud nine. 

"I was amazing right Aaron?" I don't need him to answer my question i know for a fact i was amazing. I'm amazing at everything i do. 

"Not bad Robert, I still don't understand you though. You say one thing then do another." He's looking at me with those adorable eyes of his and there so crystal clear. All of a sudden i feel vulnerable and out of my depth. I get up and start searching in the dark for my clothes. They were torn off in such a hurry there probably scattered all around the barn. I can barely see what i'm doing but somehow i manage to find my jeans and shirt. 

"So it's like that then Robert i don't even get an explanation. You do realize what just happened between us right?" 

"I was part of it Aaron so yeah i know what just happened. But it's a one off. this wont be happening again. I'm getting married like you said. And from now on i intend to stay faithful to my fiancee." I have to stop myself wincing at the last sentence. I can't see this being a one time thing between me and him. Once with Aaron is not enough. I already want him all over again. I'm in trouble. Why did i let this happen? 

"You know what Robert. Stay away from me. I'm not gonna be a dirty secret to you." 

“Don't act all innocent with me Aaron you knew what you were doing just as much as I did. Let's just agree it was a mistake, a heat of the moment thing.” I really don't know whats going on. I can't have him like I want him. Why can't I just accept that?

He pushes past me and heads for the barn door before looking back and shaking his head at me. “What are you looking at Aaron? Just go.” 

I wanna pull him back and repeat what we've just done. I wanna kiss him all over again on every inch of his amazing body. I know I'm not gonna get him out of my head now. As much as I try Aaron will stay firmly on my mind. 

“I'm going Robert, You know what? I feel sorry for you. You not getting it at home so you go elsewhere. And to a man? Your lose everything if you're not careful. Your next hook up might not be as understanding as me.” 

Did he seriously just stand up to me? It makes me want him even more now. He has no idea what he's doing to me. I need to escape him and fast because if I stay in the same space as him for much longer I'm gonna lose control again I can't let that happen twice in one day. 

“There won't be a next hook up Aaron. I'm not looking for anything other than what I have now. Don't presume you know anything about me, because you've got no idea.”

He slams the door behind him and i'm standing here in the dark on my own. I feel bad for having a go at him. None of this was brought on by Aaron and i took it out on him. Its what i do best. I don't know what to think though. And as soon as i get home i just know the guilt will then hit me. But will that be enough to stop me going back for more? Because no matter what i said to Aaron about it being a mistake. That was a lie. And if it was a mistake, Its the best one I've ever made.

TBC?


	5. Chapter 5

AARON

That's it, I'm through with Robert Sugden and his game playing. I still can't believe I slept with him though? What was I thinking? Alright, I wasn’t thinking, not with my brain anyway. But still that doesn’t matter, I really feel like an idiot. I've just been used by him and although I'm no stranger to a one night stand this felt different I can't understand why it did, but it just did. I felt things for him I haven’t felt in ages. Not even with Ed and we were together a while. There's a spark there with Robert, its undeniable.

I'm sitting in the office in the garage and I'm trying to get some paper work done, but no matter how hard I try, my mind keeps wandering back to last week in the barn, I've not seen or heard from Robert since then, it's like he's disappeared off the face of the earth, he's not even been in the pub. He must be feeling guilty about what happened between us, I do and I'm the single one. I can't help but want to text or call him though. Why am I always the one doing the running? Why should I chase after Robert? He made it clear it was a one off, a mistake as he so delicately put it. Yet here I am hoping our paths cross again so I can see his face and hear his voice. I even daydream about him and his perfect body on top of me. The kissing and touching. The way he made me so hard in mere seconds. I shake my head, I'm daydreaming again and it needs to stop, I need to stay busy And keep Robert Sugden off my mind.

A few hours later and I'm sitting in the café after ordering my lunch from Bob. Flicking through the paper in between bites of my sandwich. As I look up to take a sip of my coffee that's when I see her. Chrissie is standing at the front of the café being served by Bob. All of a sudden I feel a pang of guilt wash over me at what I've done to her. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way and even though she means absolutely nothing to me, I can't help but feel sorry for the poor woman, if only she knew what her fiancée gets up to behind closed doors, or rather behind barn doors. I'm staring at the back of her head until she turns around and talks to the person who's just walked in the door. And of course, it's Robert. Who else would it be? Earlier I wanted to see him and now I hope he doesn't spot me. I swiftly pick the paper up and try to cover my face as much as possible. I'm right in eyes view though, and he's bound to notice me. I can't hide from him. I'm only unnoticed for 2 minutes at the most. They go to sit down opposite me on a different table and that's when he clocks me.

I put the paper down because it's really no use to me anymore and try to look anywhere but his face. I feel myself being watched by him though, I hate this effect he seems to have on me. As soon as I turn and shuffle in my seat our eyes connect straight away. And it's like he's a magnetic force pulling me in. He doesn't look happy though if anything he looks nervous and his fidgeting. He jaw clenching so tight I'm surprised he's not lost a tooth. I smile at him and wink. Knowing my presence puts him on edge. My cockiness only makes it worse though. He scowls at me before returning his glance to Chrissie. Who knew Robert Sugden was so easy to wind up.

I'm still sitting here half hour later on my second coffee and browsing through my phone. Every now and then I look up and see Robert staring at me. His facial features have softened a little though. I can't help but chuckle to myself. Why is he so interested in me? He made it clear we steer well clear of each-other. I'm sticking to his words, I was here first though, he could of walked out as soon as he saw me. I get up and decide to use the toilet before heading back to work, as I walk past him I hear Chrissie saying her goodbyes before kissing him on the cheek and exiting the café, Maybe I'll stay for another coffee before going back to work.

When I return from the toilets I see him sitting alone, madder than ever. I decide to not even acknowledge he's there as I go to order my 3rd coffee and return to my seat. There's no way I'm sleeping tonight after all this caffeine. His eyes are back on me again as I look up. I decide to test him. "Do you want something mate?" It got his attention, not that I needed it. He's shrugging his shoulders at me. Before I can speak again, he gets up and comes to sit opposite me. And I feel it again. The tension between us and it's not just sexual. There's some kind of chemistry we have, I can't be the only one to feel it. "I don't remember asking you to join me Robert." I can't help but feel smug at his uneasiness. He looks so uncomfortable. It makes me laugh how he puts on this tough exterior. When really, he's the total opposite.

"Cut it out Aaron, I know what you're doing." I'm glad he leaned in. The whispered words were hardly audible. I don't know what he thinks I'm doing, I'm just sitting here minding my own business. I furrow my brows in confusion just about to talk when bob comes over with my coffee. "One coffee. Enjoy." After asking Robert if he wanted anything we're once again on our own and I feel the heat between us, as I sip my coffee he's watching my every move and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. "What am I suppose to be doing, then mate?" I watch him sit back and tap his fingers on the side of the chair. Hard enough, you can hear the sound from where I'm sitting across from him. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm on about. You've been annoying me since the minute I walked in here."

The fact that he's turning it back on me only makes me laugh more, and out loud this time. "Me annoying you? I'm just sitting here minding my own business mate. You're the one who keeps lurking at me." I can see his jaw clenching again, I know I'm making him angry now. "Don't laugh at me Aaron. I know what I saw. And that was you winking at me." I down the rest of my coffee and go to stand up. Picking my keys and phone off the table and sliding them in my pocket. Before I leave I lean in close to him and to my surprise he doesn't back away. "Don't pretend you didn't like it mate." With that, I move away and leave the cafe smiling. Two can play that game.

TBC?


	6. Chapter 6

ROBERT

After countless hours of trying to sleep, I've given up. Chrissie is lightly snoring next to me and she looks like she's in a peaceful sleep. Yet all I'm doing is tossing and turning, unable to switch my brain off. I hate the sleepless nights that are becoming all too familiar these days. I was fine up till a month or so ago. I could sleep without trouble and function correctly. Now all I seem to be doing is thinking about one person. I wake up thinking about him, Go to sleep thinking about him and everything in between. Since the barn happened, we've met a few times and nearly every time it's ended in one thing. Not that I'm complaining. I just find myself getting more confused with each passing day. I don't just want him for one thing like I did in the beginning. Every time we meet I find out a little more about Aaron Livesy and the type of guy he is. And so far I'm liking what I see. It's not just about meaningless fun for me anymore. And that thought scares the hell out of me.

I get up as quietly as possible so not to disturb Chrissie, I'm not in the mood to speak to her let alone anything else she could have planned in the early hours of the morning. That's another thing that is playing on my mind. I can't seem to bring myself to sleep with her. Yeah, we sleep in the same bed. But lately that's as far as it goes. It's not that I don't find her attractive anymore. Because I do. I love her. But why can't I be intimate with her? I'm a man sex should always be on my mind. Don't get me wrong it still is. But not with the person it should be. I don't want to compare Chrissie and Aaron but they're in a different league To each other. With Chrissie, it's all very basic, almost robotic in a sense. She doesn't experiment and I don't dare ask her to. With Aaron he turns me on in ways I didn't know were possible. The things he does to me, I feel the effects of, days later. Not once is it the same with him. Each time is different, I thrive on controlling him, and he lets me do it. I've come to find I like being adventurous in the bedroom.

As I make my way downstairs, I creep past Lachlan and Lawrence's rooms and tiptoe the remaining way to the ground floor of the house. I feel tired and drained but obviously not enough to sleep. This past month or so has really taken its toll and changed every aspect in my life. The things I'm feeling I can't even begin to put into words, I know I have feelings for Aaron everything about the time I spend with him feels right. His presence relaxes and eases me, I can admit I care about him, I know I could tell him anything and it wouldn't go any further. What he does to my mood in the few hours I spend with him takes me ages to feel with Chrissie. I feel out of place here like the black sheep of the family. Chrissie's got no real time for me and on the odd occasion she does it's only because she wants something. From an outsider's point of view I look like the hired help, not the Boss's Daughter's Fiancee.

I go to sit on the chair in the lounge after pouring myself a whiskey from Lawrence's luxurious collection. As I take a sip I feel the richness of the alcohol burning down my throat. Say what you want about Lawrence but the man keeps a well stocked liquor cabinet with nothing but the best quality. When I've drained the remaining contents I slide the empty glass onto the coffee table and lean back in the chair tilting my head back, I find myself focusing on the ceiling, Squinting my eyes at the bright light in the middle of the room. My mind then returns to Aaron It likes my default setting at the moment. I look at Chrissie and I see Aaron's face. His manly beautiful rugged face. The things we got up to on our last visit to the barn I'll remember for a long time to come. I know I'm playing a dangerous game, I'm fully aware of how much I stand to lose if everything is exposed, so why can't I stop it? Why can't I be stronger and just ignore the feelings that course through my veins every time I'm even remotely near to Aaron. It's not just when we're in close proximity, though, while I'm sitting here now I'm thinking about him I feel the butterflies in my stomach and as much as I try to ignore it I'm growing harder by the second. How can I have these feelings after only such a short time of being with him? I never felt this way about Chrissie in the beginning. Why do I feel it for someone I barely know?

How can I suddenly want someone that isn't my future? I see the way Aaron looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking. He feels something for me too. I've never experienced this kind of attraction before. I've had one night stands, Mostly drunken, But still, that's as far as it ever went. I couldn't risk getting attached and I didn't want to. Getting caught was never an option before. Now I'm doing it so close to home anyone would catch on. I enjoy the sneaking around though, and the thrill of always being on edge, almost waiting to get caught to feel satisfied. But in all honesty, it would wreck my life completely. I would blame myself for being so careless. I know I don't deserve Chrissie and everything that comes with her. Cheating on her will always be one of the worse things I've ever done. But I can't regret it. I don't regret it at all. There's something about Aaron that makes sense to me. Like it was always meant to happen. It was just inevitable.

I need to spend more time with him while I still can. Our secret meetings in the barn are incredible, Especially the last one, But I want a whole night with him, away from everything and everyone, Not having to look our our shoulders. I want to know what normal feels like with Aaron. And if it's all in my head or not. I'm starting to find him irresistible, It takes all my will power to not rip his clothes off whenever I'm near him in public. Aaron just intrigues me. I want to know everything about him What I've gathered so far is he's not much of a talker and he's the moodiest man I've ever met, But I can also tell he's loyal and trustworthy, I like those qualities about him. It also doesn't hurt that he's the best sex I've ever had. 

Or should end it once and for all before things get completely out of hand. But deep down I know I won't do it. I know I can't do it. I don't disagree, I'm a bad person and an even worse fiancee. But it's not like this affair will carry on after I'm married. I won't allow it too. When Chrissie's my wife, I intend to stay faithful to her. I should enjoy the time I've got left with Aaron while I still can. I need to block feelings out of this though. Feelings have no place in this affair. It's not a love story with a happy ending, It's an illicit affair with no chance of anything else. Anything other than meaningless sex is not up for debate, We both knew what this was from the start I made it crystal clear to Aaron what could and couldn't be, It just startles me that I'm not following my own rules I put in place. I can guarantee Aaron's not wide awake in the early hours of the morning thinking about me. I need to pull myself together and stop acting like this is something bigger than it is. I can't shake the possibility I have in my head though. The possibility that really keeps me awake at night. The reason I can't even sleep with my own fiancee. The reason why Aaron dominates my every thought. I don't want to admit it and I know I shouldn't, but sitting here at stupid o'clock yet again thinking about him I can't deny it anymore. I'm falling for him, and I know I'm only gonna break his heart. It won't stop me continuing it with him though. For as long as I can have Aaron I will. I'll deal with my own feelings later.

TBC?


	7. Chapter 7

AARON

I’m in too deep, I woke up this morning after yet another dream about Robert. Surprisingly, not a wet dream. I keep replaying the encounters we’ve shared over the last 2 months. I can’t keep the smile from my face. It creeps upon my features every time I think of him. What is wrong with me? I know he feels something for me too. The way he looks at me after we’ve been together is like he’s trying to tell me something. I know it’s all in my head and it’s only fun for him. But the more time we spend together the more I realize I’m falling for him. I’m just going to get hurt, I know that deep down. But I can’t stop seeing him. Robert gets married in 6 weeks and until then I plan on making the most out of the time we’ve got left. 

I’m sitting in the pub enjoying a quiet drink after a hard day at work. I see Robert appear out the corner of my eye. I smile before seeing Chrissie walk in behind him. It’s like these days their joint at the hip. Robert doesn’t look too pleased with her though. He looks around and spots me straight away. Directing a sly grin my way. I gulp the rest of my beer down before heading to the bar to order another. I go to stand next to Robert and wait to be served. 

I feel the intense heat as soon as our eyes lock. His mood has dramatically improved from when he walked in a few moments ago. He leans in closer. “Meet me outside in two minutes.” Robert barely whispered the words. I nod at him slightly before making my way to the exit of the pub. My beer now well and truly forgotten about. 

When I go to sit down on a bench he’s already walking towards me. I note that he’s eager. And he’s clenching that jaw of his. When Robert does that it raises my temperature and makes me want to do things no one should witness in public. He comes to sit down next to me close enough that our knees are touching. My breathing has increased just by the simple touch. Robert’s smiling at the Ground all the while shaking his head. He knows the effect he has on me. I’m too obvious at times. 

“Enjoying the closeness Aaron?” So smug he’s smiling from ear to ear. I want to lean in closer to Robert but I don’t trust myself to keep my hands from roaming all over his body. So I just simply nod at him before going to speak. 

“What did you want anyway Robert?” I swing my leg round so I’ve got one leg either side of the bench and I’m now facing him making sure to shuffle back a few inches so not to feel the intense heat of one minuscule touch. 

“Straight to the point with you isn’t it Aaron? I’ve booked a hotel for tonight.” I’m dazed by what Robert just said. Although I want to spend the whole night with him, a bunk up is better than nothing. It’s time that is spent away from Chrissie and that thought makes me happier than it probably should. 

“Why just not go to the barn Robert? It’s done us up until now.” He inches towards me and I swallow hard at the growing feeling of him being too close for comfort. It's time like this when I wish we were the only two people in the world. It's times like this when I wish he didn’t have the big house on the hill or the woman he calls his fiancée. 

“We’ve already christened the barn Aaron. And as much as I like the thought of shoving you against a few hay bales I don’t really want to spend the night there.” I can feel my cheeks blush and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Robert. A whole night with him. I need to contain my grin that’s spreading across my face. I can’t let Robert see how much I feel for him. After all, this is still all a bit of for him. I’ve got a feeling after this hotel visit, that it won’t just be fun for me anymore. It will be more than I can handle. It already is. 

Robert stands from the bench and smooths down his jacket before turning to me with one hand placed behind me on the bench and the other now stuffed in his pocket. In a low whisper that does things to my insides. “I’ll pick you up outside the garage in an hour. Hope you’re not tired, Aaron cause we won’t be sleeping.” With that, he disappears back inside the pub while his words are still ringing in my ears. I’m hard already I can’t wait to have Robert completely to myself. 

An hour later and I’m standing against the wall at the side of the garage. I'm glad its dark out because anyone could see us. It makes me wonder why he chose such a public place to pick me up. I'm surprised I didn’t have to meet him there. It’s just about sex with Robert. While in the moment he can be the nicest, most genuine guy there is. Satisfying my needs before his own. But when that’s over and were both panting for breath lying side by side. I feel him close up again. Like an invisible wall that builds itself back up. I want the pillow talk with Robert. I crave it in a way. We do talk sometimes and I enjoy that. But it's not enough, he doesn’t open up very often and when he does it's only to moan about Andy or the disastrous relationship he had with his father. I'm finding myself wanting more with him and I need to prepare myself to let him go. Because like it or not, 6 weeks from now all that we shared will be nothing but a distant memory. 

I’m dragged from my thoughts when I hear a car beeping its horn at me. The man is so impatient at times. I open the door and slide into the passenger’s seat before Robert zooms away at speed leaving the village. I get a look at him for the first time since we drove off and he looks gorgeous. Wearing his blue suit with an open collar and his hair the way I like it. I have to fight the urge to lean over and run my fingers through his hair. Along with the smell of aftershave lingering in the confined space of the car. It makes me want to tell Robert to pull over and crush my lips against his. Everything so far is perfect. It doesn’t stop the thoughts that keep creeping up though. Tonight will change things for me. It will confirm or deny what I keep continuously feeling. The feelings that keep getting stronger and stronger. I know it won’t matter to him in the slightest, but to me this affair is much more than just sex. It has been for as long as I can remember. I need to push the thoughts to the back of my mind and enjoy the time we have tonight I need to cherish the memory of this. So when I’m at home and alone in bed at least the thought of this night will keep me warm like I have a tiny part of Robert with me forever. It just won’t be enough or the same as him lying next to me, but I’ll take it because in the end it’s all I have left. 

TBC?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert have a night away!

ROBERT

We get to the hotel a little later than planned. The car ride here was a nightmare. Every time I caught Aaron glancing at me, I just wanted to pull the car over and rip his clothes off. I’m steadily getting harder by the minute and it's starting to feel uncomfortable. In the end, I started to speed up just to get here faster. I’m flushed and more than ready to spend the whole night with just Aaron alone. I can feel his eyes on me as we walk to the reception desk of the hotel. Me slightly impatient to get to the room while Aaron is traipsing behind me at a snail’s pace. My frustration is only growing as I get to the elevator and press the button. I look at Aaron, who’s of course biting his lips and I have to place my hand against the wall to stop myself lunging forward and wrapping myself around him. 

Once the elevator pings I reach for Aaron’s hand without realising and drag him into the empty elevator, hoping no one joins us on our ride up to our floor. I can't take the intensity I'm feeling any longer as I practically throw myself forward before the doors even close. Watching Aaron smile as I lean down and press my lips to his rather hungrily. My hands roaming over his body as I remove my mouth from his and start kissing down his neck. He pushes me back and I feel my self-control slipping into ungrounded territory. He has no idea what impact he has on me and although I’m scared of the feelings that keep appearing all that’s on my mind is making these last few weeks between us count. 

When we get to our suite I waste no time in getting inside the room and kicking the door shut, dropping my over-night bag to the floor and once again invading Aaron’s personal space. He seems as eager as me though, and I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this way. I drag him into my by the drawstrings of his jacket and wrap my arms around his waist as I hear him speak for the first time we entered the hotel. 

“We’ve got all night you know Robert.” Looking at me with a cheeky smile across his face. 

“Yeah, but I can’t wait Aaron.” I resume my attack on his neck from earlier and shuffle him forward so his legs are standing against the bed.

“Always so eager.” I wink at Aaron before pushing against his chest causing him to fall onto the bed. 

I remove my jacket and shoes, turning around so I can get a look at Aaron sprawled out across the bed, I don’t want to stare but I know that’s exactly what I’m doing. He looks so happy and relaxed I love seeing him smile. He should do it more often because when he does it lights his whole face up and makes him even more beautiful than he already is. I return to the bed so I’m standing over him and I swear it’s the most mesmerizing sight I’ve ever witnessed. Taking a mental image and securing it in my memory before slowly crawling up his body and to his waiting lips. 

I feel the tension in my body slip away and all I can think about is how easy and right it feels to be here with Aaron. Everything with him these days feel right. My choices in every other area of my life remain uncertain and I know we’ve only got the here and now, but in my life I know nothing will ever come close to this feeling I have right now and competing with it would be pointless. They’ll never be a moment this perfect for me again and that thought makes me more uneasy than it should. Being split in two is harder work than I thought it would be. Not that Aaron has ever pulled me in his direction. I just find myself wanting to be. When it comes down to it, though none of it really matters my futures with Chrissie and that’s how it’s got to stay. 

Aaron lifts his head and places a gentle kiss to my lips, his hands placed either side of my face. I lean up so I’m straddling him and unbutton my shirt Aaron’s eyes never leaving mine in the process. I can feel his bulge against my thigh as I move to take my trousers off. Once stripped of my clothes I climb back on top of him and rub the fabric that’s cover his erection. Receiving moans of pleasure as I continue. He lifts his hips up so I can remove his jeans in one swift movement taking his boxers off as well. I throw Aaron's clothes to the floor and reach for his length, stroking in quick succession before replacing my hand with my mouth. I can hear his breathing hitch as I speed my pace up before slowing down again. Aaron’s already so hard and I know it won’t take him long. I lean down and roughly kiss him my tongue immediately finding its way into Aaron’s mouth. 

I sit back up and take both of us in my hand as I see Aaron move his head from side to side. “Robert I’m gonna..” Before I hear what he’s about to say I explode onto his chest and scream out his name repeatedly. Continuing my pace on Aaron and watching his facial expressions change as he gets to the peak of orgasm until he shudders and bites his lip screaming loudly as he comes.

Minutes later and I’m lying on top of Aaron as I feel his hand pulling lightly at my hair. It’s so quiet our breathing being the loudest noise around us. I'm completely naked and starting to shiver until Aaron senses it and pulls the cover from the end of the bed draping it over my body. I lay my head on his chest as I hear the sound of his heartbeat it makes me smile. I know I shouldn’t be doing this getting so close like this with him, but in the moment I find myself not caring. As I lye here staring into space I realise feelings have gotten involved and I’m so tempted to revealing that to Aaron. I know he feels it too and that makes me rethink it, I can’t hurt him anymore than I know I’m going to. I need to keep this as painless as possible. Mostly for Aaron but partly for me too. I never thought I’d feel this way about another man. At the start of this I never thought I’d fall for Aaron let alone fall in love with him. I know ending this will break me as much as it’ll break him. I dread the day that will come knowing saying goodbye to him will hurt more than I ever thought it would.

TBC?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos it means alot to know people are enjoying reading :)  
> Find me on Tumblr: missme033.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

AARON

It's been a few days since the hotel visit and I can't get Robert out of my head. We haven’t seen each other since that night and I'm starting to get annoyed at myself for how much I miss him. He gets married in a few days and then that’s it between us. I have to sit there and watch him marry her. Watch as he vows to stay faithful and profess his love. I don’t know if I can do it. But it’ll look weird if I’m not there. My feelings for him are only getting stronger and as much as I want to run away and forget Robert Sugden I can't I’m in love with him. 

As I’m walking down the road I spot Robert and Chrissie holding hands and smiling at each other as they walk into the pub. It makes me feel something I never wanted to feel for anyone let alone Robert. It makes me feel jealous. I carry on walking with my head down in hopes he doesn’t clock me, but it’s too late when I see him out the corner of my eye as his smile immediately drops and he looks tense. I can see Robert pushing Chrissie into the pub probably giving her yet another pathetic excuse which she stupidly brought as he comes striding over to me with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hi.” I can’t look him in the eyes as he speaks to me. I wanna keep walking and pretend I didn’t hear him, but he’d know something was wrong and I don’t wanna give him any signs that this affair is more to me than we’re both painting it out to be. 

“You alright?” I kick the gravel beneath my feet to busy myself with something other than having to look into his eyes and knowing I'd only get lost in them. 

“Can we meet later, I wanna talk.” I shot my head up at his words and find that he looks tired like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I nod my head quickly before I blurt something out I really shouldn’t. “Text me.” With that, I stroll off down the road only turning back to see if he’s still looking at me. Which he is. 

I got the text nearly straight away from Robert to meet at the cricket pavilion. An hour later and I'm sitting on the steps looking out of the ground my mind racing with possibilities I know I shouldn’t be thinking about. I wonder what he wants to talk about? I can’t help but feel nervous and a little on edge. It’s gotta be to finish it between us surely? It’s the only valid reason I have and it makes my heart sink. 

I look up as he walks towards me not smiling smugly or carrying arrogance, but looking down beat and something close to sadness. I don’t see this Robert often if at all. 

He comes to stand awkwardly in front of me before sliding into the space beside me. So close our thighs are touching and that current of electricity that just won’t quit running through my veins. 

Robert’s sitting quietly with his head leant against the side of the wall while my brain is screaming at me to speak before it’s really too late. 

“So what did you wanna talk about?” He looks at the ground while playing with his hands. 

“This.” Robert points between the two of us. “Us. I’m getting married in a few days Aaron. We both know the score.” 

I swallow hard at his words as a lump forms in my throat. There’s nothing left for either of us to say at this point. I have to go my way and deal with a broken heart as well as love for a man who was never mine to begin with. While he gets the happy ending and the dream life he’s always wanted.

“I get it Robert. Good luck with the wedding.” I get up swiftly as I feel tears prick my eyes. I won’t let him see me like this, not now not ever again. 

“What? That’s it Aaron? After all these months, that’s all you’ve got to say?” I swing around as he’s stood there with his arms flailing. 

“What do you want me to say Robert. We both know the score remember?” I wanna grab him and not let go. I feel trapped by someone who will never reciprocate my feelings.

“Do you not care at all?” My brows furrow as I step closer suddenly confused by his words.

I stay silent, not fully trusting myself to speak without letting slip how I really feel about him. How I can't get him out of my head. How much I'm completely in love with him.

“Forget it.” He barges past me in anger. 

“Forget what? What do you want Robert? I catch up with him and grab his arm to stop him walking away. 

“Let go Aaron.” I tighten my hand on him desperate to know what he means. 

“Forget what?” I shout at him as he struggles to break free of my grip. 

“FORGET YOU.” I let go immediately as he runs a hand through his hair before speaking again. “I need to forget you Aaron.” 

Robert falls to the ground, shaking his head. I can’t believe what’s in front of my eyes. I wanna comfort him, but I also wanna punch him in anger. I go for the first as I slowly sit down on the grass a fair distance away from him.

“It was never meant to be like this.” Robert clenches his jaw. “I was never meant to feel this way about you.” I see his eyes grow blurry and it breaks me in half knowing I had no idea how all this was affecting him. 

“Changes nothing, though right?” I run my hand through the cut grass as I’m talking.

“How am I meant to live with all of this?” He smacks his hand on his head. “You’re always there.” 

I edge closer desperate to close the distance between us. “Robert. You need to work out if marrying Chrissie is the right thing to do.” 

“I don’t know what’s right anymore Aaron. All that feels right in my head is you.” He leans closer and cups my face in his hands before stroking his fingers down my cheek, Resting his head against mine as he looks into my eyes and says the words I’ve wanted to hear since I could remember the words that play on a loop in my head the words that I only ever dreamt he would say to me. 

“I love you.”

TBC?


	10. Chapter 10

ROBERT

I stare at the ground as my spoken words are repeated over and over in my head. This was never the plan, I was never supposed to admit my feelings for Aaron to Aaron. I can't take the words back and honestly, even if I could, I don't think I'd want to. It still changes absolutely nothing, though I'm marrying Chrissie in less than 24 hours whatever I just admitted to Aaron or how truthful it actually was by this time tomorrow I'll be a married man and this thing between stops once and for all.

I find myself gazing into Aaron's eyes to find nothing but shock. He's completely speechless. I'm completely speechless, I've just admitted my love for the person I'm secretly sleeping with. How am I In love with two people at the same time? How am I gonna look Aaron in the eye and finish this for good knowing deep down it’s the last thing I want. I wanna hold onto him forever in this bubble we've created for ourselves, leave the outside world behind to carry on without us and remain in pure bliss with him.

“Don’t look at me like that Aaron.” I push myself up and start walking away. 

“You just told me you love me and you’re walking away Robert?” Aaron shouted. 

“What else can I do Aaron? I meant what I just said, but it can’t be anything more than words.” I feel my voice crack and I feel sick to my stomach. I want it to be more than words with Aaron. I just can’t give him that.

He strides towards me and our faces are inches apart as he speaks his next words. “You don’t love me Robert. You’re not capable of it. You’re right, it’s just words you don’t mean them.” Aaron shoves me backwards while shouting at me. Anger is growing in his voice. 

I feel my blood boil. It shouldn’t get to me this much. I shouldn’t care if he believes it or not. But I can't just walk away after he said that to me. I start pushing him back and grab hold of his jacket while looking directly into his eyes. “Don’t tell me I didn’t mean it Aaron. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. You’ve got no idea how hard this is for me.” I let go of him and walk back to sit on the steps. 

I’ve got my head in my hands while taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I feel Aaron sit down next to me and shuffle closer. “Why tell me this now?” He replies.

I don’t know the answer to his question. Looking back, I never realized how difficult and messy this all got. I have no idea when I fell in love with him. I tricked myself into thinking he meant nothing and that I could carry my life on with Aaron at arm's length in secret till I got married, but it all got complicated my feelings as much as I tried to keep them out of it have got involved. I can’t go a day without thinking about him I often wake up and my first thought is of Aaron. How am I meant to start married life this way? With Aaron constantly on my mind? 

“I don’t know.” I sigh at him. “I needed to tell you Aaron.” 

“I love you too.” Aaron vocalises in barely a whisper. 

I look at him in amazement, My whole body feels numb. I want to speak, but my voice is failing me. I lunge forward and connect my lips with his. Pushing down the voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me to run. The voice that repeats constantly you’re only gonna break his heart. And I am, I know I am but in this moment with my lips on his knowing we both feel the same thing for each other I block the voice out and concentrate on the here and now.

Aaron moves his hand to the back of my neck and pulls me closer never breaking the kiss. My hands find his face as the kiss intensifies both of us fighting for dominance his hands now roaming all over my body until he rests on my crotch as I feel myself growing harder under his touch. 

“I mean it, I really do.” I get out between kissing him. Moving my lips to his neck as I alternate between kissing and sucking his skin. 

Aaron releases his grip on me and hangs his head. I don’t see why until I place my fingers under his chin and make him return to looking at me. 

What I see looking back at me breaks my heart. He’s crying silently and I just wanna comfort him and tell him everything will be alright. But I can’t because it won’t. I don’t wanna give him false hope. I'm hurting him over and over again and it needs to stop. 

“Aaron. I’m sorry.” I mumble sincerely. 

He shakes his head and wipes his tears away with the back of his sleeve. “It’s fine. I think you should go Robert.” 

I nod my head as we both stand up together. We walk silently to the edge of the cricket pavilion before I turn to him and pull him close to me not trusting myself to vocalise my goodbye so I show it to him instead. I lean into Aaron and place my hands around his waist cuddling him tight as I feel tears prick my eyes. I hear him sob lightly as he kisses my neck and rubs patterns down my spine. I run my hand up his back then to his neck as I hold him in place running my fingers through his hair closing my eyes to try and savor the moment knowing I'll never be able to feel him near me again. I whisper softly that I’m sorry as I release him from my grip for the last time leaving my hand to linger on his arm.

Until I look over his shoulder and see someone watching us. I don’t know what I feel about them seeing us like this, I know I should feel panic but as my hand remains firmly on Aaron’s arm I feel anything but. 

Tbc?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've neglected this one for far too long i thought it was time to update so here's chapter 11, I hope you enjoy!

AARON

I'm standing frozen to the spot after turning around and seeing Victoria staring back at us. Robert’s still got his hand on my arm and as I look at him I don’t see what I thought I would. He looks calmer than I’ve ever seen him and it confuses me. We stand both with our eyes fixed on Victoria as she slowly walks forward with a frown on her face. 

Robert does the last thing I expect him to do by pulling me closer to him like I’m some sort of human shield. I can hear his breathing start to increase as he gulps hard. At this point I feel nervous not just for me, but more so for him. If his sister saw more than she should of then everything could change and it’s a scary thought but one I so desperately want. 

“What the hell is going on?” Vic looks between Robert and me before folding her arms over her chest in wait for an answer. 

“Vic I can explain.” Robert pushes past me and walks towards his sister.

It was obvious the act wouldn’t last long he’s probably gonna tell her it was all just a mistake and that it meant nothing to him. 

Victoria waited in silence as she looked at her brother. The look Robert previously had on his face had disappeared and was since replaced with something that only I could describe as disbelief. As I stood watching from a short distance realisionation started to hit me at how far Robert would go to keep us a secret. 

“It’s not.. Vic.” Robert stuttered as he turned his head to look back at me almost pleading with his eyes for me to step in and help the situation. 

Victoria shrugged her shoulders in wonder. “Spit it out Rob. What’s going on?” 

I see Robert’s shoulders slump as I step forward and stop beside him. “You wanna know the truth Vic?” 

I can't hide it anymore as tears once again start to blur my vision. Everything has come to a head and I just want it all to stop. I'm sick of hiding and cheating. I'm sick of wanting what I can't have. And more than anything, I'm sick of loving a man I know is off limits. As I look at Robert to gauge his reaction he knows what I'm just about to do. What, I'm just about to admit to his little sister, Im gonna blow his world apart and I feel bad I really do, but it’s time to be honest and if Robert won't do it then ill have to do it for him. 

“I’m sorry Robert I can't do this anymore.” As I stare into his eyes, they reflect my own the only difference is he’s visibly crying tears. 

“Will someone tell me what's going on now?” 

“We’ve been.” I take a deep breath before continuing only to have Robert interrupt me as I open my mouth to speak.

“I’ve been seeing Aaron behind Chrissie’s back.” Robert says the words so fast I’m surprised they made sense.   
Victoria’s mouth drops open at Robert’s admission. If I'm honest I'm just as shocked as she is, The fact that Robert admitted the truth is a shock and one I really wasn’t prepared for. He looks defeated and tired like everything has got on top of him and he’s had enough. 

“How.. When?” Victoria barley managed to speak. 

Robert walked away after hearing Victoria’s question. Without thinking I follow him and catch up almost immediately. I can’t tell if he’s angry or relived to finally have someone else know about our affair. 

“What do I do now Aaron?” Robert paces back and forth without looking at me. 

“That’s up to you Robert.” I shrug my shoulders as I stand in front of him desperate to see the emotion he’s surely carrying in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow and all I can think about is what a relief it is that someone else knows about us.” 

Victoria catches up with us as Robert slides down the concrete wall with his head in his hands. I’ve no idea how difficult it must be to have feelings for two people at the same time, or the position Robert is currently in. All I know is how I feel and what I truly want. 

Victoria takes a seat next to Robert as I step back a few paces. Wanting to leave them to have a moment of privacy between just the two of them. 

“Rob. Talk to me.” Vic nudges her brother to get a reaction. 

“What do you want me to say Vic? I don’t know what to say to you.” 

I stand in the same spot watching the two of them quietly. If there was one good thing to come out of all of this it’s knowing that Robert now has someone to talk to. 

“Tell me why?” Victoria squeezes Robert’s arm in comfort.

Robert finally looks up and fixes his eyes to mine briefly before turning to his sister, all the while shaking his head. “He was there, It was never meant to be more than a one time thing.” 

“Are you gonna marry Chrissie?” My head flies up at Victoria’s question, Intrigued to know the answer myself.

“I don’t know what to do. I love her, I really do, but I can't stop thinking about him, I’ve got feelings for him.” Robert’s tear stained eyes once again find mine and the sight is enough to make me wanna grab him and make everything better.

“Rob, you need to decide what you want and quickly. It’s not fair to either of them. If you love Chrissie than marry her. But if there’s any part of you that loves Aaron you need to call the wedding off not just for you but for everyone involved.” 

Robert stood up slowly and hugged his sister before thanking her and walking towards me. 

“I'm sorry,” Robert says with a hoarse voice before walking off into the distance.

I stand there in shock just watching Robert walk away. Something tells me he’s made his choice and it breaks my heart because I know I’m not it. 

Tbc?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 2 months since i updated this! I hope you're still sticking with it after all this time. Let me know any feedback you may have. :)

ROBERT

It’s the day of my wedding and I'm sat in the kitchen at home farm staring out into the grounds thinking about what today means, what I’ll be in a few hours from now. It’s the most important day of my life, yet here I am thinking about the man that dominates my dreams, the man that makes my heart skip a beat. Why does Aaron mean so much to me? Why can't I just get over him and move on? Why can't I see my life without him? There's so many questions flying around my head and I know the answers to none of them. My head tells me one thing and as cliché as it sounds my heart tells me another. I’m pretty much doomed, either way I lose someone I care about I suppose the most important question of all is who?

Finishing my coffee I decide I need something much stronger if only to take the edge off and dull my senses enough to help me get through today. Before coming back to the village I had no doubts whatsoever in my mind that this was what I wanted Chrissie was the only one that mattered to me, the only person I thought I needed. There were others. One night stand after one night stand and nearly all of them were with men, But none of them were like Aaron. Looking back they didn’t even scratch the surface compared to him. I never had feelings for any of them, it was meaningless sex to temporarily cure the boredom and even then I found myself craving something more but I never knew it would be this. I never knew that something more was the love and connection of a man and not a woman. Doesn’t change a thing though, like I keep repeating to myself, I'm expected to marry Chrissie and live the life she’s provided. It’s what I want or, until recently wanted. I can't go back, I couldn’t if I wanted to I'm not prepared to dwell on the past anymore and as difficult as it is to accept that’s exactly what Aaron has to be.

20 minutes later and I’ve showered and changed into my wedding suit, I can’t deny I look good I actually look better than good. I can always carry anything off, but in a suit if possible I look even better. I grab my shoes and not bothering to tidy up after myself, I slam the bedroom door and sprint down the stairs and into the kitchen immediately coming to a halt when I find Aaron leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest. I know as I slowly walk forward and peer into his eyes that he’s not here to congratulate me on my upcoming nuptials and to be honest I can't really blame him. 

“What you doing here?” I get the words out in barely a whisper all of a sudden feeling nervous at his surprising presence. Aaron stands up straight and stares directly at me before his gaze moves lower and takes in my appearance as I stand rooted to the spot I find myself craving his approval. After a minute or so I’m still waiting for him to open his mouth and speak, just to end the deafening silence between us. 

“Aaron?” Shouting slightly his way I manage to get his attention.

“Nice suit.” He mutters to me before walking around the kitchen island and stopping bare inches away. What do I say to him? I’m at a loss for words and his eyes buring into me is only making it ten times worse. I also can't help but notice he’s in his blue suit the one that makes his eyes sparkle and shows off his body in all the right places. And I wonder for a split second why. Surely he wouldn’t watch me marry someone else while he’s sat in the pews watching it happen. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask again as he bites his lip while looking at me. 

“You’re going through with it then? I shouldn’t be surprised.” Shaking his head Aaron turns his back to me and I can't help but want to reach out and touch him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Aaron it’s the right thing to do.” 

Aaron laughs bitterly. “It’s the easy thing to do you mean.”

I want to laugh and I most probably would if I had any doubt that he was wrong. Of course he’s right, Aaron’s always right. It might be the easy way out, I might not be the happiest I can be, but marrying Chrissie will give me the life I want and need, It’s got to be as simple as that. If only. 

“Yeah, alright it’s the easy thing to do, What more can I say Aaron? Now, unless there's anything else I need to finish getting ready.” I practically spit the words to cause a reaction of some sort. If he stays much longer I don’t think I’d be able to control myself. 

Aaron closes the gap between us and I’m helpless knowing I couldn’t move away if I wanted to. Our noses are practically touching, I can feel his breath on my cheek and smell the aftershave that I’ve grown to associate with Aaron. He knows by my laboured breathing that he’s having an effect on me. I gulp hard and clench my fists to stop myself reaching out and running my hands up the length of his body.

“You know this is what you want Robert.” Aaron whispers against my mouth and before I know it his lips are on mine and my hands are cupping the back of his neck to drag him closer if that’s even possible.

I feel myself pulling away which Aaron seems to sense because he places his hands on my chest and deepens the ever growing kiss, causing me to lose it all and melt into his touch. I can’t deny he’s what I want. He’s what I constantly seem to want. My head is clear as I shove him against the nearest wall and shrug his jacket from his shoulders. I’m thinking about nothing else as my tongue forces entry into his mouth and I grind my body against him. I want for nothing else as I reach for Aaron’s belt and unbuckle it before tugging his trousers down and taking his erection in hand. I know I’m gone for when Aaron makes that throaty groan and takes my lip between his teeth biting lightly. I’ve got no time to regret what we’re doing or where we’re doing it because it feels right and way to incredible to even think about stopping.

As we dress 30 minutes later I’ve finally come to my senses and I feel terrible, not because I’ve once again cheated on Chrissie and on our wedding day of all days, but because I feel like I’ve led Aaron on again, I know by just looking at him I’ve given him false hope.

“So?” Aaron vocalises as I’m straightening my tie out. How can one word be loaded with so many questions? I want to say: So let’s leave now and never look back. But as I grab my keys and open the back door, I know that’s not the words that’ll leave my mouth.

In the end the words that do escape my mouth break me enough to have tears streaming down my face as I watch Aaron walk away for the final time. Knowing now more than ever he’s who I truly want.

Tbc?

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your feedback :)  
> Will continue if anyone enjoyed reading.


End file.
